Shay Mitchell Is Pursuing Happiness on Her Terms

Shay Mitchell has always lived in a deliberately delusional state of mind. When you have your heart set on becoming a force in entertainment, you have to. Reaching and maintaining mainstream success in Hollywood requires an unwavering belief in yourself and infinite trust in the universe that the seemingly impossible can be yours (with hard work, of course).

By subscribing to these principles, Canadian-born Mitchell's dreams of acting stardom have come true tenfold. Over the last 15 years, the 36-year-old has witnessed all the goals on her years-old vision boards become reality. Moving to palm tree–lined Los Angeles? Check. Starring in a cult-classic show? Check. Securing Teen Choice Award nominations? Check. 

"I would always look at other entertainers and think, If they can do it, why can't I?" Mitchell says, describing her mindset as a young adult. "There wasn't anything that could stop me, even though I was a girl raised in Canada who wanted to do American shows. I knew there would be a process and I didn't know how long it would take, but I just knew I would end up being on the shows I wanted to be on. As the kids say these days, I was delulu."

Mitchell's tenacity led to her big break on ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars as Emily Fields in 2010, starring alongside Lucy Hale (Aria Montgomery), Ashley Benson (Hanna Marin), Troian Bellisario (Spencer Hastings), and Sasha Pieterse (Alison DiLaurentis). "When I booked the show, I knew I didn't have as much acting experience as the other girls," she shares. "A part of me was scared, but I knew I would eventually figure it out. Do I think my performance was Academy Award–winning? Absolutely not. But fuck it. I did it, and I tried my best. I learned more [on that set] than I could in any acting class."

For those unfamiliar with the hit teen drama, the seven-season series followed the life of Emily and her former best friends—Aria, Hanna, and Spencer—after the disappearance of their clique's ringleader, Alison. Throughout each season, the foursome was plagued by menacing messages from someone named "A," who threatened to expose their darkest secrets. As the show progressed, Emily and her crew worked to uncover what happened to Alison and how "A" came to be. However, in the midst of the series' mystery and scandal, Mitchell's character, specifically, cut through the noise. Emily resonated deeply with audiences via the show's thoughtful depiction of her sexuality, with her coming-out story and on-screen relationship with new girl Maya St. Germain (played by Bianca Lawson) being core parts of season one. 

With so much discussion surrounding the show and her character from the get-go, the fervent fandom of Pretty Little Liars catapulted Mitchell into the limelight. By the time the show ended on June 27, 2017, Mitchell walked away with millions of followers and over half a dozen award nominations. And, as one would expect, her impactful burst onto the small screen opened the door for roles in other projects, like Netflix's psychological thriller You, Screen Gems' horror film The Possession of Hannah Grace, and Hulu's comedy series Dollface. 

Having an IMDB page stacked with television and movie credits is everything Mitchell envisioned for herself as a young girl. However, as she became embedded in the often-consuming world of Hollywood, not letting her achievements in front of the camera define her became a central thought. "I felt [like people were defining me by the character I played] a little bit, especially in the early years of Pretty Little Liars, where everyone just talked about Emily," Mitchell explains. "It got to a point where I was like, Okay, but I'm here too, and I can do other things. I didn't want to be pigeonholed in the acting world of only being able to play one note. So I think social media helped me showcase my personality outside the character I played."

Nine years ago, she launched her YouTube channel and used the platform to share intimate glimpses into her off-screen persona and interests. Until 2021, she regularly posted makeup tutorials, cooking how-tos, wellness tidbits, and lots of travel content. Mitchell's affinity for touring the world was especially apparent through her fan-favorite series dubbed "Shaycations," which featured awe-inspiring excursions like skydiving in Dubai, taking a hot-air balloon ride in Marrakech, and visiting monkey-filled forests in Ubud. "I have such a respect for travel because I feel you never come home the same way you left," she shares. "It always changes you, teaches you something new about yourself, and alters your perspective."

In that regard, having a deep appreciation for global exploration guided her toward new passions outside her familiar studio lots and television sets. "Because of my travel series, people would always leave comments asking, 'Where should I go if I'm here?' or 'How should I pack?'" she recalls. The latter question led to her first entrepreneurial endeavor, BÉIS. In 2018, Mitchell launched the travel accessory company with one crystal clear goal: to create affordable, functional, and high-quality gear for people who are on the go.

Béis launched with seven essentials: The Duffle, The Weekender, The Backpack, The Dopp Kit, The Cosmetic Case, The Passport Holder, and The Luggage Tag. Over the last five years, the brand has expanded to include everything from roller suitcases to work tote bags, and Mitchell's travel savvy is seen in the game-changing tweaks made to each product. The Carry-On and Check-In Rollers, for example, feature built-in weight indicators, TSA-approved combination locks, and compression flaps. And with The Weekender bags, you'll find a zip-around bottom storage compartment, removable padded shoulder strap, key leash, and trolley pass-through pocket. "Whenever I'm at the airport, I'm always observing how people travel," Mitchell says. "It's a vulnerable thing to leave your home with all your most prized possessions. When you bring them with you, you want to feel secure and sure that your bag isn't going to break. And even when I looked at the bags I used, I knew things could be much better."

In an era where we've become inundated with hit-or-miss celebrity brands, the ultimate litmus test of success is whether it can build community and credibility outside of its celebrity seal of approval. Mitchell's burgeoning luggage empire has passed with flying colors. The brand is expected to hit $200 million in profitable gross revenue by the end of 2023 and has amassed a devoted online community of 911K on Instagram, 363K on TikTok, and 74K on Facebook. "Béis keeps growing because it is that good," she says proudly. "There's a reason Béis isn't Béis by Shay Mitchell. I never wanted it to be something you bought because of me. I will not negate having a platform was such a huge benefit. Obviously, I had more eyeballs on me to begin with. However, the brand has superseded people just buying it because they know me."

Mitchell also doesn't hesitate to attribute part of Béis' prosperity to the work of her powerhouse team. "I'm a perfectionist to a certain degree, and it was a little nerve-wracking at the beginning to let go of certain roles," she says. "However, I learned early on to hire people smarter than me and allow my team to do what they are best at. I'm learning from them and blown away by how they view things. The cherry on top is that we're successful, and that's due to the passion and drive of everybody [on the team]."

The business acumen Mitchell developed while working on Béis helped her segue into her next venture—premium tequila seltzer brand Onda—in 2020. While luggage and liquor may not seem inherently complementary, it all makes sense in Mitchell's world. For her, it's all about identifying the white space in a category she cares about and filling it thoughtfully. In the spirits space, she and her cofounders—Noah Gray, Max Dworin, and Kelli Adams—saw a need for all-natural ready-to-drink cocktails. "I came across a deck for the brand in its early stages, and I immediately got into contact [with my now co-founders]," Mitchell says. "I've always loved to drink tequila. At the time, there weren't a lot of options in the [ready-to-drink] category with less sugar, no artificial flavors, and premium tequila. [Onda gave me] that same lightbulb moment I had with Béis." 

Mitchell says Onda stands out because it sources its blanco tequila from an award-winning, woman-owned distillery in Jalisco, Mexico; is only 100 calories; and contains no added sugar. The brand has additionally become known for its creative approach to marketing and development, channeling bright, beachy vibes in its flavors and packaging. And like Béis, Onda's refreshing take has garnered a loyal following, earning a die-hard fan in hip-hop icon Drake (his favorite flavor is Passion Fruit). "If one of the biggest entertainers in the world, who has access to anything beverage-wise you could imagine, chooses to bring this with him on the road, it says something," Mitchell says. 

Between March 2021 and March 2022, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) found that 20.8% of private-sector businesses failed within the first year. And between March 2017 and March 2022, research showed 48.4% of businesses didn't survive. Mitchell has built two companies that are defying the odds and plans to keep expanding her entrepreneurial endeavors. "I have a few other things I'm working on, and they're no-brainers for me as well," she says coyly. "I'm excited because I love creating. It's like giving birth, but to a brand."

Speaking of giving birth, Mitchell has been busy literally bringing life into the world. She and longtime partner Matte Babel welcomed their first daughter, Atlas, in October 2019 and their second daughter, Rome, in May 2022. Motherhood has made her more reflective than ever, especially regarding her childhood. Mitchell was raised in a multicultural household—her mother is Filipino, and her father is Irish. As a child, navigating dual identities proved to be a complex experience. "I grew up in a predominantly Caucasian school, and all of my friends had blonde hair and blue eyes, so I definitely stood out," she shares. "When I was younger, my way of dealing with that was to separate myself from the rest of the group, and I think that's why I was so much more of an introvert in high school."

Now, as a mother of two multiracial girls (her partner is Trinidadian and Caucasian), Mitchell is adamant about teaching them to embrace their identity and that of those around them. "My duty as a parent is to celebrate that Atlas and Rome are mixed," she says. "Matte and I encourage them to be curious about their background and treat everyone equally."

Raising daughters has also allowed her to think more critically about the unfair societal expectations placed on women and how she can combat these ideals within herself. Many new mothers can attest to feeling pressured to "snap back" to who they were physically and mentally before having kids. This burden can feel even more omnipresent when your job entails being filmed in 4K for hours on end and microscopically inspected on red carpets. "As a woman in this day and age, it's tough," she says. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel that pressure. However, I've always said I can't snap back. I can only snap forward. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I put the old version of myself aside, and a new chapter began."

In this chapter of life as Atlas and Rome's mother, Mitchell describes herself as more determined than ever. This is one trait she wishes to pass on to her children. In November of last year, she took her daughters to see one of her Béis billboards in California, posting a photo of the three of them gazing up at the signage on Instagram. By sharing moments like this, she hopes it ignites a fire inside them that leads them to boldly pursue their heart's desires as she has. "I want them to see me and know you can be extremely independent yet still rely on others for support," she says. "I want to instill a strong work ethic in them. My parents always said if you get something on your own, nobody can take that away from you. So I want them to know if you believe in something, you can attain it."

Mitchell never wants to present as a supermom who has it all together all the time, though. She can juggle her roles successfully because of her partnership with Babel. "There are a lot of different questions you have as a parent like, 'Am I doing this right?' or 'Is this the correct way to teach her this?'" she explains. "Having a sounding board is so helpful. We share the same morals, and I'll forever be grateful to be in a healthy relationship."

Mitchell will also be the first to admit that being in a position to surround her family with a doting caregiver has helped her navigate the last four years of her parenting and professional journey. "I can do all of this because I have a team of people around me," she says. "The other day on TikTok, someone commented, 'Oh, look at the nanny feeding her child.' I've never claimed to raise my children by myself. If I didn't have the help I do, I wouldn't be able to do what I do [in my career or as a mom]. It's important to call it out because it is a luxury to be able to do both."

That said, on an individual level, she moves through each beyond-busy day with greater purposefulness and always places being present with her toddlers first. "Having a strong work ethic goes a long way, but it's important to have boundaries," Mitchell shares. "I never want my children to say I work too much. When I'm putting them to bed or having a meal with them, I put my phone down. They're growing up so quickly, and I don't want to look back and think, I missed this because of a work function."

The holidays, in particular, have significantly become a more intentional time for her. But this year, Mitchell is releasing herself from the self-induced pressure to have a dreamy storybook Christmas. "For the first few years after having Atlas, I felt like Christmas needed to be perfect," she tells me. "I wanted to have three trees and lights everywhere. But I realized what's more important is that [my kids] don't feel the stress from me running around trying to get everything done. All that matters is that we're happy and celebrating together. So my tradition has become having no tradition."

Now, while she's embracing low-key festivities this year, that doesn't mean Mitchell is shying away from partaking in holiday glam by any means. Her Byrdie cover—aptly themed "The Holiday Issue"—allowed her to indulge in festive winter beauty in unexpected ways. Throughout the day, she effortlessly posed in hair and makeup looks she'd never tried, like a towering bow-adorned updo fitting for the Regency era, thin brows straight out of the '90s, and fiery copper curls that are very of the moment. "This wasn't what you'd expect from a holiday shoot—it had such a unique twist," she says. "There were no reds, greens, or golds—just black and white. It's cool we got to share holiday [beauty] from our perspective."

Surprisingly, Mitchell says she wouldn't describe herself as a fashion or beauty devotee, though the dazzling images from her cover shoot and her Instagram feed suggest otherwise. "I don't love fashion to the point where I want to dress myself," she says. "What I am appreciative of is the art of [beauty and fashion]. It's always been about the art and having a relationship with the artists behind it all." 

While she'd rather leave her outfit and makeup selections to the experts she works with, she has taken a deeper interest in skincare. "When I moved to Los Angeles, my skin became so different," she says. "That's when my relationship with Shani Darden started. She's my esthetician and has become one of my closest friends. She helped me feel confident in my skin again." Mitchell says her daily routine is stacked with Darden's products plus a few other must-haves, like vitamin E gel, coconut oil, and lip balm (Rhode's Peptide Lip Treatment is her go-to).

For an on-the-go mother and entrepreneur like Mitchell, stealing a few precious moments (i.e., minutes) to tend to her skin can be a small yet powerful act of self-care. And Mitchell is very much into little gestures like this that recharge her inner and outer being these days. "It's easier said than done, but it's important to find just five or 10 minutes for yourself," she says. "Sometimes, I'll simply lie down and look at a tree blowing outside my window to ground myself."

On other days, she says tending to herself might look more extensive, involving back-to-back workout classes, basking in nature while hiking, or watching an entire series in bed with her Postmates order in hand. "That's what self-care is about," Mitchell notes. "It's about checking in with yourself and asking, What would make [me] feel happy right now?"

For Mitchell, holding tight to moments of happiness (big and small) amid the hustle and bustle is what anchors her. It'd be an understatement to say the beautifully full life she leads as a multihyphenate is brimming with euphoric moments she carries close to her heart—and there's no arguing that Mitchell deserves all of them. All the good in her world today is a direct result of her unabashedly pursuing joy on her terms since she was a young adult. In her 20s, she moved through the world with a razor-sharp focus, not letting anything or anyone deter her from making it in Hollywood. Throughout her 30s, she's held on to that unbridled willpower. Mitchell has continued to build upon the legacy she created as an actress over a decade ago while embracing new identities as a two-time mother and multimillionaire entrepreneur. 

When you encounter someone like Mitchell, who has made her loftiest fantasies her real life, it's only natural to ask, "What's next?" At 36, Mitchell has decided all she wants to do now is take things one day at a time. "I'm not excited about the destination," Mitchell says. "The exciting part has always been the journey. That's what I want to continue to be on. I never want to hit a mark. I don't have a goal. I want to continue to be happy and for my kids to be healthy, and that's it."